Kennedy-Spaien, Dot Com

About 2 1/2 months ago, I was in a car accident. I’m largely alright at this point, but my right hand and foot, as well as my back were fairly messed up.

2 weeks ago I started getting “back in the game” so to speak, but I had to completely re-invent my ‘to do’ structure. For whatever reason, the system I had been using was now alien and obtuse to me.

So I started scouring Lifehacker, Lifehack.org and the holy testaments of Merlin Mann, Steve Pavlina, David Allen and Steven Covey. As a result, I quickly became overwhelmed by “process”. Particularly bad were the software based solutions which became a large time sink and source of “analysis paralysis.”

Finally, one day I realized that my productivity had actually sunk to ZERO! I was actually spending 100% of my non-family time trying to find a productivity system I could live with. That way, of course, lies madness.

I had become Ahab, and my white whale was named “To Do“.

Ultimately, the pressure of time slipping away got to me and I simply grabbed a blank sheet of printer paper. I made 7 columns corresponding to the days of the week, and filled in my recurring tasks. I left non-recurring tasks in my mind for the short-term, and quickly became productive again! Yay!

Now this clearly won’t do for the long-term, but I’ve developed a taste of pen and ink, and I’ve been eyeing that fugly, oversized calendar we got free from the local Chinese delivery restaurant…

Escargot: The other gray meat.

I have had a major, life improving experience this week, and it has opened me up to a world of new possibilities. I feel refreshed and empowered and ready to conquer the world. I feel like Nietzsche’s Ubermensch, or “over-man”. “How did this come to be?”, you may ask. I’ll tell you.

I read, then rejected The Secret. Then I ate Escargot.

First , let’s look at The Secret.

When I say “read”, that’s shorthand for “listened to” in true Audiodidact fashion. As I listened, I found myself nodding along saying, “yes, yes this is just a collection of truisms and old-time pop-psychology.” Most of this stuff is just “power of positive thinking” recycled for a new audience. I believe in this stuff, and am actually grateful to the Secret for reminding me of it. I had backslid into a habit of dour sarcasm and gloom and self-doubt as a constant low-level hum in my psyche.

However, about every ten minutes I would start to jump out of my seat wishing I had a passenger in my car to hear me shout, “Oh my god! Did you just hear that nugget of utter B.S.?”

The main problem is that I could accept almost everything in the book if they framed it as: “This is metaphor. Act as if it was true and you can derive much benefit from it.”. This is not what they do, though. The people involved KEEP stating “This is Literally true.” Even the incredibly lazy metaphysics. They try to use scientific terminology to “prove” unprovable statements, and use really bad logic.

Example:
Thinking about having money will make the universe manifest money for you.
This is because what we imagine is real.
Tests on athletes show that when they visualize running a race, the same muscles get stimulated as would be if they actually WERE running the race.
This Proves that what we imagine is real.

I have no idea what the technical name for that variety of fallacy is (Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc, perhaps?), but it quite obviously is not clear thought.

How I could envision this working is:

1. Visualize what you want.
2. Psych yourself into believing that having it is inevitable.
3. This then frees you from stressing so you can focus on making it happen.
4. With a clear mind, you are able to see and seize opportunities you wouldn’t have been open to before.
5. Free of stress, what used to seem like insurmountable obstacles can now be seen in perspective as solvable.
6. You end up getting what you want.

So I resolved to jettison away the “Magic thinking” and lazy rationalizations of The Secret and embrace the few kernels of psychology buried within. I have decided to put my fears and dreads to bed, to frame all my thoughts in the positive (Think: “I want A,” not “I don’t want B”), and to visualize the ends I hope to achieve.

Strike that — the ends I EXPECT to achieve!

I am something of a gourmand. As I teen I thought about going to the Culinary Institute of Pittsburgh, rather than music school, but I couldn’t stand the thought that I would be forced to try Pate de Foie Gras, Escargots, tripe, etc.

Last night I took my family out to a nice dinner and saw Escargots on the appetizer list. Without hesitating for a moment, I ordered them. They were fine. The sauce was so strongly flavored of Garlic and Vermouth that the taste was hidden, and the texture was masked by the copious amount mushrooms and gobs of melted Gruyere, but it was basically unobjectionable. The feeling of empowerment I got from conquering this long-standing fear was priceless.

I’m thinking about getting a T-shirt made saying, “Escargot: The other gray meat.”